Face of Jesus > Facebook
Beginning on January 1st, you won't see much of me on the internet (other than this blog). Why am I taking a break from social media? Why do I feel the need to step away from Facebook and Twitter? Because sometimes things that aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves can get twisted. Sometimes good things become these big, ugly, living, evil monsters and they wrap around our hearts. Yet, we may not notice them and we will often start justifying to ourselves (and God) why we can't stop. They may look all fuzzy and warm, like a little pet that we want to hang onto. But the truth is, they start to suck the life out of us. And worse yet, they start to distract us from the beauty and glory of God, who (for those of you who are believers) is supposed to be not only our priority, but our everything. They are idols that we begin to worship instead of the living and true God. It's anything but good when this happens.
For me, Facebook has become an idol, a parasite. It's leeched itself onto my heart and mind. I spend too much time on there, because I've believed lies that I have no friends here at home (which I logically know to be untrue). I find self worth in how many "likes" I get on a post or a picture. I compare myself to friends who are in different places in their lives. I tell myself that it's okay because this is the only way I can communicate to some of my friends. But there are these things called phones, aren't there? Oh, it'd be so much easier to pin this all on Facebook, if I could say that it's the fault of social media. But really, it's a heart problem. It's sin. It's a problem that begins at my core, that first started in the Garden with Adam and Eve. It's pride. It's my selfish heart saying "I don't trust God and I want some control. I think I know better than God. I don't need God. I'm going to spend the time that God gives me the way I want to, and I want to be comfortable. I want to quickly satisfy my longing heart with pictures of people to trick it into thinking I have community, instead of risk putting myself out there with real live people who could potentially hurt me and not like me."
Well, for a while, I've felt as though God has been whispering to me "Stop pushing me away. Stop chasing after acceptance through social media. Come to me. Spend time with me. Get to know me more." But I ignored Him. Sure, I'd spend some time in the Scriptures. I'd have the occasional great time out with friends. I'd have a wonderful time with community that would point me back to Jesus. And each time I'd tell myself that that was enough. I was loving God with all my heart. But I kept Facebooking like no tomorrow. I'd take a 10 day break and say I was cured. I didn't have a problem.
And then very recently God broke my heart over my actions. And I am so incredibly thankful. He is jealous for me. He wants all of me, not just 80%. He is worthy of my complete attention. His glory demands my awe. He constantly is pursuing me. Everywhere I turn, I see Him wooing my heart. And yet, I've been letting my pride and my fear keep me from surrendering what I know needs to go in order for me to truly chase after Him. I want to live to glorify Him. I want to let go of my safety blanket. I want to step out of the boat and start walking on the water. I want to trust Him. I want to grow in my knowledge of who He truly is. I want to meet Him face to face. I want to experience Him in my daily activities. I want to hear His voice more often than I hear about where so and so went for lunch.
And so, come January 1st, I'll be deactivating my account. (Why deactivate instead of delete? Just in case Jesus teaches me one day how to go back to it in a way that's pleasing to Him.) I'm going to have to meet new people, as scary as that is for me. I'm going to have to be intentional in talking to real live people. I'm going to have more time, and more opportunities to intentionally choose to spend that time with Jesus. And I'm excited.
P.S. Why am I choosing a date in the future to begin this instead of just doing it? Because I wanted to be open and confess this weakness to you. And I pray that God will use that however He wishes. If anyone has any questions of any kind, please message me on Facebook before the 31st, or you can e-mail/call/leave a comment here on this post.
For me, Facebook has become an idol, a parasite. It's leeched itself onto my heart and mind. I spend too much time on there, because I've believed lies that I have no friends here at home (which I logically know to be untrue). I find self worth in how many "likes" I get on a post or a picture. I compare myself to friends who are in different places in their lives. I tell myself that it's okay because this is the only way I can communicate to some of my friends. But there are these things called phones, aren't there? Oh, it'd be so much easier to pin this all on Facebook, if I could say that it's the fault of social media. But really, it's a heart problem. It's sin. It's a problem that begins at my core, that first started in the Garden with Adam and Eve. It's pride. It's my selfish heart saying "I don't trust God and I want some control. I think I know better than God. I don't need God. I'm going to spend the time that God gives me the way I want to, and I want to be comfortable. I want to quickly satisfy my longing heart with pictures of people to trick it into thinking I have community, instead of risk putting myself out there with real live people who could potentially hurt me and not like me."
Well, for a while, I've felt as though God has been whispering to me "Stop pushing me away. Stop chasing after acceptance through social media. Come to me. Spend time with me. Get to know me more." But I ignored Him. Sure, I'd spend some time in the Scriptures. I'd have the occasional great time out with friends. I'd have a wonderful time with community that would point me back to Jesus. And each time I'd tell myself that that was enough. I was loving God with all my heart. But I kept Facebooking like no tomorrow. I'd take a 10 day break and say I was cured. I didn't have a problem.
And then very recently God broke my heart over my actions. And I am so incredibly thankful. He is jealous for me. He wants all of me, not just 80%. He is worthy of my complete attention. His glory demands my awe. He constantly is pursuing me. Everywhere I turn, I see Him wooing my heart. And yet, I've been letting my pride and my fear keep me from surrendering what I know needs to go in order for me to truly chase after Him. I want to live to glorify Him. I want to let go of my safety blanket. I want to step out of the boat and start walking on the water. I want to trust Him. I want to grow in my knowledge of who He truly is. I want to meet Him face to face. I want to experience Him in my daily activities. I want to hear His voice more often than I hear about where so and so went for lunch.
And so, come January 1st, I'll be deactivating my account. (Why deactivate instead of delete? Just in case Jesus teaches me one day how to go back to it in a way that's pleasing to Him.) I'm going to have to meet new people, as scary as that is for me. I'm going to have to be intentional in talking to real live people. I'm going to have more time, and more opportunities to intentionally choose to spend that time with Jesus. And I'm excited.
P.S. Why am I choosing a date in the future to begin this instead of just doing it? Because I wanted to be open and confess this weakness to you. And I pray that God will use that however He wishes. If anyone has any questions of any kind, please message me on Facebook before the 31st, or you can e-mail/call/leave a comment here on this post.
"Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory,
take my life and let it be Yours."
"Little children, keep yourselves from idols." ~ 1 John 5:21
"For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." ~ Deuteronomy 4:24
"But from there you will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul." ~ Deuteronomy 4:29
More Scripture:
Romans 4:24,25
2 Corinthians 11:2,3
Philippians 3:7-11
1 Thessalonians 5:23,24
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