There's More to the Story: How This Messy Girl Can Rejoice in the Impossible

I was late to appointments. I walked a distance to my car in the snow only to remember my keys were left on my bed. I didn’t go grocery shopping when I had the chance, and now was standing in front of an empty refrigerator with a grumbling stomach and a body too tired to make the trek this late at night.  I went to another state to visit friends and got sick instead.  I said I’d do something for my mother, and never did it.  I was late getting my timesheet in for work.  My mind was scattered, and I’m sure the stench of grumpiness wafting out of my heart, clinging to my hair and skin, was noticeable to many.

The past two weeks have been a stark reminder of my humanness and desperate need for a perfect Savior.  It was right in my face: I am not perfect.  I can be quite a mess. And that’s where my mind stayed.  I am broken.  I need Jesus.  Over and over again.  I am broken.  I need Jesus.

Slowly, I crossed paths with the same sinking sensation that I had, at one time, been more than just acquainted with (depression was my best friend – and worst enemy – for more than a couple of years).  In clinging to my brokenness and human frailty – annoyed with myself – I felt the haze build within me.  My find was foggy.  My throat thick with disappointment and worry.  I felt alone.  A barrage of lies came quickly.  Some I could point out as lies, while others made their way into my heart and mind – a successfully painful lodging.  I read the Bible with less regularity – and I knew it was setting me up for a harder trek through this muck and mire.  I was laying down and admitting defeat instead of standing my ground and taking up the sword of the Spirit.  I didn’t want to do anything.

Oh, my friends, my need of Jesus was evident.  And I cried out to Him.  But I felt heavy and tired.  Goodness, I was so tired.  And then? 

He met me.  He bent down and met me there in that place of cowering in my heaping pile of dirt, shame, and brokenness.  And then there was the whispering – that still, small voice: “Yes, daughter, you are human.  You do need Jesus.  But that’s not where it ends.  Don’t forget what He’s already done.  Remember, daughter, the same power that rose Him from the dead?  It lives in you.  There’s more to the story.  Don’t give up.”

Yes, it is important to remember that you are human.  That you will continue, on this side of Heaven, to make mistakes, get things wrong, and be a mess.  But we shouldn’t stay there.  If you have put your faith in what Christ accomplished on the cross?  If you believe that the Son paid the wages of your sin?  If you have received that free gift?  Then there is so much more to the story!  There is reason to rejoice!

I was so hung up on the first part of the story.  It’s not that I forgot that Jesus died in my place…I forgot He rose again.  I forgot His victory.  I forgot what that means about how I should live.  Instead of living in defeat and disappointment?  I am free in Christ to claim the victory that His death, burial, and resurrection won.  I should live in the reality of being free, being victorious, being more than a conqueror.  But how am I to do that?

I look to God’s Word.  And His Word?  It provides the answer…in abundance.  The Holy Spirit.  Remember that he fills those who believe in Christ as the Son of God – Lord of All.  Remember that we are called to walk by the Spirit.  To let him lead us.  Remember that, even though we may be called to do impossible things, God gave us the impossible (the power of the living God within us) so that in relying on His strength and might, it may become possible.  All for His glory and praise – and our good. 

The disciples that followed Jesus?  I wouldn’t be surprised if they were disappointed and distraught – hopeless and horrified – confused and crushed when they saw Jesus hanging on the cross, dead.  Jesus really died.  His lifeless body lay motionless in the tomb.  What defeat!  What would they do now?  To stay the mind on this part of the story would be so depressing.  If that were it?  If that was all God had?  It would be hopeless.  BUT GOD raised Christ from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit!  More than five hundred saw Him.  They saw the resurrected Jesus!  They saw that His lungs were filled, that His heart beat in His chest, that He actually needed food.  The impossible?  It became possible by the power of the Spirit.  And that same Spirit is now in His adopted children.  So the hopeless situation?  God upends it.  God flips it over.  God turns it on its axis.  We now find ourselves in a situation where there is abundant hope.  Unending reason to sing! 

Some of you may know, but others may not.  Part of my story - the one that the Lord is writing for His glory and my good?  It involves attempted suicide.  I suppose I could keep it hidden for many, only revealing it to some in private conversation.  But I am increasingly grateful that the Lord allowed me to get to that point before opening my eyes to know who Jesus was, because remembering that if not for the grace of God? I could very well be dead – not just in my trespasses and sin – but eternally separated from God – never to be reconciled and adopted.  And oh, the gratefulness that bubbles up inside me!  I am made alive with Christ!  The hope!  The joy!  I know that God has written this part of my story for a reason – and who am I to keep it from others?  It’s not a story I’ve written, so who am I to edit who hears it? 

So, though I’ve realized we can’t forget the good news of His resurrection? We can’t forget the first half of the story, either.  We need to be reminded of where we were.  We need the gratitude of being saved and raised from the dead.  So, I’m being challenged – and in turn, challenging you – to see the whole picture, and preach it to yourself each and every day.  Don’t lose sight of where you were, and don’t lose sight of where we’re going! 

“But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” ~ Romans 8:10-11

“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.  Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.  We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” ~ Romans 6:5-11 (Emphasis added)

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.  For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.” ~ 2 Peter 1:3-9 (Emphasis added)