Trading a Victim-Mindset for Victory in Christ: God's Grace is Key

I came to church that morning, desperate for an intimate meeting with the Lord. But, honestly, I was filled with such hurt and bitterness and I didn’t expect much.  Austin stood up front saying that he was giving the “obligatory Thanksgiving sermon,” chuckling along with the rest of the church.  I actually had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.  My immediate thought was “Come on, God.  I wanted to hear something new.  I’ve read Ann Voskamp’s book about counting gifts and giving thanks twice now, and have talked about thanksgiving until I’m blue in the face. I get it.”  But the Lord, who is infinite, always has more to reveal to His children.  And I’m so thankful that in His grace, He chose to meet with me on a morning when I was weary, hard-hearted, and ungrateful. 

            For a very long time, I’ve been someone who often falls into the victim-mindset.  I’m not a personality expert, but perhaps my temperament makes me more likely to lean in this direction?  I don’t know.  I do know that a lot of my life experiences probably have contributed to this thinking.  There were circumstances that no one has control over, like cancer and death. There were the decisions of others that I had no control over, like divorce.  And then there were the times that are hard to remember still:  when I tried to speak up for myself but my voice was disregarded.  Somewhere along the line, I started to think it would hurt less if I gave my power away than having it taken from me.  I guess it helped me to think I still had some control left.  But I always came back to wondering, “Why does this have to happen to me?”  My relationship with the Lord has helped to give me strength and hope far beyond anything I could have imagined – but time and time again, I find that I play the victim well.  And I hate it. 

            Last spring, the Lord started to work on this area of my mind and heart.  He helped me get to a point where I decided I was done walking through life trying to be an apology letter at every turn.  And that was huge.  I started to feel comfortable and enjoy living as the woman He created me to be.   And fast forward to this Sunday after Thanksgiving – where He opened my eyes to something that I’m so excited to investigate further. 

            Austin was talking about the times when it’s hard to give thanks.  My mind quickly conjured up past and present circumstances that are such hard places, and tears began to blur my vision.  I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself.  He spoke of God’s sovereignty.  How God is in complete control – allowing these hard times to happen in order for His glory to be made known, for His purposes. 

            My heart leapt, and a slow smile crept across my face.  If God’s in complete control, and it is Him who allows these things to happen in order for His glory story to unfold in the way that makes much of Him and brings good for me and others?  Then I can never be a victim.  Because He’s using me even in these hard places – especially in these hard places – as a vessel to bring about His magnificent story of redemption and grace.  He’s using me, no matter what, to bring good.  I get to be a part of what He’s doing in the far more glorious story of Jesus Christ.  I no longer can play the victim.  These things aren’t happening to me – they’re happening for His glory and the good of His people.  Even if I can’t see the good in the current moment – I can trust that He will work it out.

            As I started to tell my friends about this new revelation, I realized the Lord was telling me that there’s more.  I need to dig deeper.  If I am no longer to play the victim, what is my role?  I can’t just get rid of the victim-mindset – I need to trade it in for something else.  And so it became clear, through prayer, that I was to leave behind the “victim” and start walking in the “victory” Christ has already won.

            Now, the question is how?  It’s one thing to pray that the Lord would change something, but it’s another to take steps of faith and obedience to the Spirit’s leading, as you pray for the Lord to do the work only He can.  So what exactly would my steps be?

            First, I knew I wanted to scour His Word for ones that spoke of Christ’s victory – Scriptures to memorize to renew my mind, and as a help for the moments when I am tempted to fall back into my old identity and my old ways of thinking.  And, let me tell you, there are so many!  Flash cards galore are being made (and it’s a welcome break from the pharmacology flashcards from this past semester at nursing school). 

Second?  I remembered The Giving Keys – a company that a young lady started when she ran into a homeless couple that made jewelry.  The company now employs those transitioning out of homelessness.  They engrave words on keys that they find and make them into necklaces and bracelets.  The idea is you wear it for as long as it takes you to embrace that word – and then you pass it on to someone else who needs it more.  And when you share the word, you share the story.  You can choose one of their words – strength, create, hope, etc.  Or you can customize it.  I got my necklace for Christmas as a tangible reminder.  I have wanted one for a while, but never knew what word I needed to embrace.  But now I know, “victory” will be my new anthem. 

I think it’s important to point out that it’s not my own victory I’m speaking of– but the victory Christ purchased on the Cross, with His death.  As I’ve begun to dig around in the Scriptures, I can see that the victory we have in Christ is so wrapped up in God’s grace.  Why?  Because it all points back to the Gospel – the Good News.  What is the victory that He purchased?  His death, burial, and resurrection mean that death and sin no longer are the winners.  The darkness is robbed.  Christ’s death has bought us a way back to the One we were created to be in relationship with – and when we place our faith in His saving work on the cross, we are promised life eternal and a power over the sin.  And it has nothing to do with what we can offer – all of this is God’s grace: a free gift that we do not deserve.  When you trust in Him, there is forgiveness, there is hope, there is life abundant, and there is victory. 

If in the end, I’m victorious in Christ, then there is no reason to fear in times of hardship, there is no reason to give up hope.  I also want to continue being used by Him to show other people His love and to just simply share all that He offers.  Now, I wonder how much more would He be able to shine through the darkness of circumstances and my own brokenness if I were to walk away from having a victim mindset.  If I were to put my trust in Him on the throne – a God who is in complete control, powerful and loving beyond all comprehension – the peace and joy would probably do a lot more to reflect Jesus than the whining, pouting, and fretting I have been comfortable with. 

There is still so much more that I am unwrapping and discovering when it comes to this.  And part of my journey in learning how to walk in this victory is actually going to be continuing to write.  I trust that the Lord will continue to reveal His truths to me, and I invite you to take this journey with me.  Perhaps you, also, need to be reminded that God is for you and He’s inviting you to live like you really believe it.  Or perhaps you don’t believe me, but are intrigued to know more of a loving and merciful God who gave His own Son to bring you into an actual relationship with Him (seriously, it’s radical stuff).  Maybe neither – but if you want to hang around and walk with me during this time, I’d really appreciate it – because I’m going to need people cheering me on.  We all need community – we can’t do this life alone.  I don’t know exactly what it means to walk in victory, yet.  I’m putting my faith in the One who told me to start this journey, not knowing where or what it will look like, trusting that He will reveal it as I go.  Because He is a God of infinite grace.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” ~ 1 Corinthians 15:56-58

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world.  And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” ~ 1 John 5:4-5

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in a triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.” ~ 2 Corinthians 2:14