God Works All Things Together?: Our Stories are Meant to be Shared

In a little over a week, I'll be heading back to classes, back to clinicals, back to exams that have made me question my existence, and back to working with some of the best people I've had the opportunity of knowing.  Lord knows I've had a slew of different emotions in regards to returning.  I'm also currently using this winter break to do a lot of reading - for fun.  Currently, I'm devouring Levi Lusko's heartbreaking, yet inspiring story, Through the Eyes of a Lion: Facing Impossible Pain, Finding Incredible Power.  It's such a brave and honest testimony to what only God can do in and through us in the midst of some of the worst days of our lives here on earth - and how He truly does use everything for His glory.  It reminded me of the testimony I shared with my church last month.  My worship leader invited our congregation to share testimonies of how the hope of Christ's return is helping us to live in the dark of now.  She and I approached each other at the same time: her to ask me if I'd write, me to ask her if I could share.  

Levi Lusko's honesty and willingness to share with others the story of losing his five year old daughter to an asthma?  It's given me the desire to share with more than just my church family - I want to share with you, now.  I've spoken of my mom's battle with cancer on here before, but as more time has passed, I can see more clearly of how God is working things together.  The last time I wrote of her cancer, I hadn't even considered pursuing nursing.  Below is what I read (while shaking - a huge thanks to Eric and Cindy from our worship team for helping me out, by the way) about a month ago at my church.  As I continue to walk forward in this new journey of embracing the victory that is in Christ, I know that one way I can do that is the way I choose to look at my circumstances.  And please do yourself a favor, read Through the Eyes of a Lion.

I’m currently in the accelerated 2^nd bachelor’s nursing program at UMass.  And while I could spend the next couple of minutes explaining the darkness that is nursing school, I instead want to share of the trials that led me here to this place.  It speaks to how our Heavenly Father truly works all things together for the good of those who love Him, for those who are called according to His purpose.

My mom was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma 10 years ago.  However, they began to realize her cancer wasn’t acting typical to her diagnosis.  Yes, usually people with non-Hodgkin’s will have to battle it multiple times, and it’s not a type that “goes away.” But my mom’s cancer kept coming back.  On average, it’s every two years that she has to don her boxing gloves again and undergo chemotherapy.  In 2012, we thought we had found hope in stem-cell replacement, a long complicated, and exhausting process.  But less than 2 years later, it started acting up again.  It’s incredibly hard to watch someone you love be sick to this degree over and over again, especially when there really isn’t anything you can do.

Four years ago, when I put my faith in the person of Jesus Christ – in His death, burial, and resurrection – I was able to see the healing of our Lord, as He brought me out of a six-year desert of depression and anxiety.  By His grace, life was breathed into my empty lungs, and my eyes were opened.  No longer was I constantly looking at how my mom’s cancer affected me, I was able, for the first time, to see my mom, and He helped me to humbly serve her and the rest of my family.  After that, I saw that the Lord was continuously growing my heart for the people around me, the people I had never noticed before.  So many were hurting and sick, without a hope.  And the One who gave me hope told me to go and help.

As I obey the Lord by taking one step at a time, I am blown away by His faithfulness and grace.  It’s hard to focus on studying when your mother calls and tells you she’s been having some symptoms that typically signify her cancer has returned.  And, honestly, I struggle with constantly expecting the worst.  My mind automatically draws up the darkest possibilities, and much to the enemy’s liking, there are many times when I let fear win.  It is a fight to continue to surrender your heart, mind, and life to the Lord when time and time again, circumstances and this world say He isn’t to be trusted.  When you get an e-mail saying your cousin’s four-year-old daughter has glioblastoma*, an aggressive brain tumor?  It seems almost impossible to cling to the truth that He is a good Father.  And yet, as I think of the person of Christ, and all that He has offered me – all that He has done, I know I will continue, by His grace, to place my faith in Him and look forward to His return – when there will be no more tears.

Sin is the cancer that we are all racked with, and our only hope is the cure found in Christ. More powerful than chemo drip-dripping from an IV pole is the Christ blood drip-dripping from the cross. The hope in Jesus -the faith in placing your life into His hands? - it isn't a maybe, it's a guarantee - not of complete remission, but of complete redemption. A new life forevermore, not just more life here and now. It's not a treatment to continue living on earth - it's the only way one has hope of life eternal with the God who hung the stars. Cancer of sin goes deeper than cells and Christ goes deeper than chemo. We are all sick and dying, but Christ came for the sick. More powerful than radiation blasting away a tumor? Our Redeemer - by the power of the Holy Spirit - blasting away the grip of the tomb. I'm so thankful for how God used medicine, doctors, and nurses to bring my mother to a place of healing time and time again. And I look forward to the days when He’ll use me to join Him in bringing hope and healing to others.  But I'm so thankful for His reminder of the weightier, far more important, truly lasting gift of salvation and ongoing relationship with Jesus.

* Update: after a whole lot of people had been praying for this little one, we got the amazing news that she actually won't need radiation or chemo, as a renowned hospital looked at her scans and reported her tumors were benign. Praise be to God for all of His faithful prayer-warriors and for His healing!