Hey Girl! Podcast, Hard Places, and Hope

I sat down with Bethany Needham almost a month ago to record an episode for her Hey Girl! Podcast. As I started to drive away from her gorgeous house, I was overcome with dread and began to question everything. Did I share too much? Did I paint people in a negative light? Was I too “woe is me’? I replayed all of the questions and answers multiple times. I had to, at one point, turn up my music and tell myself to trust God with it.

When I saw that it was uploaded this morning, I felt sick. I didn’t want to hear my voice and my story. I was too afraid to listen. But I also wanted to listen because I had forgotten what I had shared, and didn’t want this mystery recording out there for others to listen to.

After a time in God’s Word and praying – yes, these continue to be baby steps in this season – I felt ready to trust God was capable of doing some pretty cool things. Because, let’s be honest. It’s His story, ultimately.

I’m so thankful that Bethany prayed for us at the beginning of our time together, and for my friends who I had recruited to pray for my words. As I listened this morning, I was struck by God’s goodness, grace, and abundant mercy. I had prayed before hitting ‘play’ that God would encourage my heart and help me to love Him more. And, wow. He graciously spoke to me and reminded me that He’s got me. He is in control. He knows what He’s doing. He’s going to continue to take care of me.

I don’t know what your story is. I don’t know what you believe. I don’t know your struggles, doubts, dreams, joys, and hurts. But, I do know that God is a Perfect Father who cares for you. And if you aren’t ready to hear that, or if it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth – it’s okay. God is patient. But He is always graciously pursuing your heart. In reliving my journey this morning, I am so encouraged by the ways in which Jesus has met me time and time again. He is so patient with our stubborn human hearts.

I also know that we live in a time with such heartache, horrors, and chaos. I look around at our nation, our world, and I see such brokenness and tragedy. This morning, when I woke up at 3:30 because I couldn’t sleep, I saw the news about Las Vegas. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it. In my self-protective, keep-it-at-arm’s-distance way, I read the reports and watched a few short clips of the atrocity and found myself saying “how awful” without truly recognizing that it is reality.  But then, on the way to a doctor’s appointment, I looked at everyone driving, everyone walking on the street, and my heart broke. Each person is such a precious gift to this world. Each person is made in the image of God. And I started thinking of those precious people simply enjoying a concert and having everything ripped away in an instant. It made me want to get out of my car and go up to someone and hug him or her. But, I digressed, because I was cutting it close on time, and I thought it would be not received well in Massachusetts.

But my fear of my story being “too real” or “not happy enough” was washed away this morning in light of the events. Because reality is that life is hard. People deal with really hard things. I can’t even imagine the trauma of being involved in or affected by a mass shooting. I can’t imagine a lot of atrocities that people face daily. We all have our own stories, our own burdens, and our own hurts. And if I simply share mine and speak to God’s faithfulness in the midst of it, what’s the harm in that? Maybe we wouldn’t feel so alone in the muck and mire if we were more honest that we aren’t perfect, that we don’t have it all together, that we’re dirty and broken, and that life is hard. And may I add, that I hope you know I don't take mental illnesses lightly, and though there are laughs shared about certain stories, I recognize how real, how hard, and how devastating mental illnesses can be. I am just glad I was able to talk with someone about it who has also was acquainted with mental health issues.

In the face of the troubling events of this world, perhaps you want to know what the purpose of life is. Perhaps you want something to hope in. Perhaps you want to experience some peace. I pray that, if you do decide to listen to the podcast, you would be encouraged and you would start to question whether or not there really is truth in the person of Jesus. Yes, I will tell you that He is the True God. I will tell you that He is who He says He is. But I encourage you to investigate it for yourself. That’s how I met Him in college. I started asking questions. I started reading Scripture. I started talking to Christians. If you do have questions, I will make myself available to you. I can’t promise I have all the answers – because no one does. But I will dialogue with you, I will research more to better answer the questions that you have, I will listen to you share your stories.

Friend – no matter where you are at in this season of life, Jesus is there and He truly does care. I needed to be reminded of that this morning, myself. And I’m so grateful for the opportunity to sit down and share the ups and downs of my journey with a sister in Christ who was so welcoming and so encouraging. So go ahead, friend, listen when you have a chance.

You can listen here / here / or here.

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.” Psalm 73:23-28

“And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Luke 11:9

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, ‘The righteous shall live by faith.” Romans 1:16,17