Intentions Behind This Blog
Let me start off by stating that this is not my first blog. I've had two or three in the past. And honestly I wasn't all that great at keeping up to date. It was just something I did every now and then. And despite the pathetic attempt of a blog about my summer in San Diego, I never really had anything of real value to blog about. That has changed.
Last January, about a year ago, I truly started searching for God. I grew up in a family who didn't go to church. Jesus wasn't someone I was really familiar with. I went to Christmas services with my grandmothers on occasion, but that was about it. I had been involved with a high school youth group, but mainly to just socialize with individuals who were a lot nicer than my classmates. I went through a time in late high school/early college where I had claimed to be a Christian just because I'd go to church every now and then to be around people who were friendly. At one point I had told people that I had accepted Christ because that's what my friends had done, and I longed to be accepted. But in reality, I didn't understand why so many people believed in a god who allowed so much suffering to happen. I definitely had an easier life than many in this world, but I also experienced quite a bit of loss and endured some trauma. When I wasn't reading novels and escaping to a different world, I was lost in my own world of depression and self-loathing. I even tried to end my life a few times. But, I suppose that's just not how I'm meant to leave this world, which is something I'm definitely grateful for. And then during my winter break my junior year, I started searching for the thing I felt I was missing. When God opened my eyes to the Truth through reading the Bible, having Christian friends pouring into me, and going to just a few services at a church I had previously gone to, I knew that this was it. I accepted Christ as my personal savior, and things started changing.
Last spring, I started learning who Jesus was and what the Bible actually said. The questions I had: Who is God? Can I really have a personal relationship with Jesus? What does that look like? Can I continue to live the way I have been? What should my relationship with my boyfriend look like? What does all of this mean for my life? I had a rough time really listening to some of the things that were being told to me. I could definitely say that I was a new Christian and believed lies quickly and easily, but I also was stubborn and didn't want to give certain things up.
Summer soon came and I was face to face with something new, scary, and out of my comfort zone. I had gotten accepted to a summer project through Campus Crusade for Christ, the college ministry I had been involved in starting that semester. I was going to San Diego for 10 weeks with a total of 120 other college students, and I'd be sharing my faith with others in the area. God changed my heart on a lot of different things, and I grew in my faith, shifted my foundation to God instead of the worldly things I previously had been rooted in, and let go of many things (boyfriend included). The Lord opened my eyes to the true reason for life. My perspective on everything changed. God broke me down so He could be the one to build me back up. I learned so much while I was there; too much to go into here. But mainly I realized that this life isn't about me. It's not about you. It's about God, and how everything is meant to glorify Him. I understood how my relationships with my earthly father figures had painted an inaccurate picture of God in my mind. I saw how I needed to pursue my relationship with Christ and strengthen that before getting involved in a relationship, but when I do, how necessary it is for my partner to be a strong Godly man who loves Jesus first and foremost. I learned more about leaning on God and having faith that He'd provide. I learned the importance of forgiveness, and I was able to forgive myself for my suicide attempts in addition to forgiving my parents and bullies. I took a step of faith by stopping my anti-depressants (which I had been on for 7 years), in hopes to find out that I don't need to rely on pills to make me happy. I've been off of the medication for about six months now, and I've never been happier. My identity is secure in Christ, and my journey to know God's heart has been challenging, yet so insanely satisfying. I am a leader for Campus Crusade for Christ (from here on out referred to as "Cru") on my campus, and I love it. I love what the organization's mission is and the relationships with the students. I love sharing my faith with others. I love meeting up with my fellow sisters in Christ and discussing the things God is doing in our lives. I love seeing people grow in Christ. I love the Gospel. God desires a relationship with us lowly, broken humans, but we can't come into His holy presence because of our sin, so He sent His only Son to live the perfect life that we are expected to live, and then Jesus died on the cross in our place, so that we can come before God confidently and have eternal life in Christ. Praise God! How crazy is that?!
This blog is simply going to be my account of what God is teaching me. My goal is a post weekly, but there may be times in which I post more often. I want to share the different things that God is pressing on my heart. I want to keep a record of ways God is working in my life. I want to have a place in which I can write responses to things God has shown me. Even if no one ever reads this, I know that it will have some sort of purpose.
"And also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." ~ Ephesians 6:19 & 20
"Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, "I believed, and so I spoke," we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will also raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:13-15
Last January, about a year ago, I truly started searching for God. I grew up in a family who didn't go to church. Jesus wasn't someone I was really familiar with. I went to Christmas services with my grandmothers on occasion, but that was about it. I had been involved with a high school youth group, but mainly to just socialize with individuals who were a lot nicer than my classmates. I went through a time in late high school/early college where I had claimed to be a Christian just because I'd go to church every now and then to be around people who were friendly. At one point I had told people that I had accepted Christ because that's what my friends had done, and I longed to be accepted. But in reality, I didn't understand why so many people believed in a god who allowed so much suffering to happen. I definitely had an easier life than many in this world, but I also experienced quite a bit of loss and endured some trauma. When I wasn't reading novels and escaping to a different world, I was lost in my own world of depression and self-loathing. I even tried to end my life a few times. But, I suppose that's just not how I'm meant to leave this world, which is something I'm definitely grateful for. And then during my winter break my junior year, I started searching for the thing I felt I was missing. When God opened my eyes to the Truth through reading the Bible, having Christian friends pouring into me, and going to just a few services at a church I had previously gone to, I knew that this was it. I accepted Christ as my personal savior, and things started changing.
Last spring, I started learning who Jesus was and what the Bible actually said. The questions I had: Who is God? Can I really have a personal relationship with Jesus? What does that look like? Can I continue to live the way I have been? What should my relationship with my boyfriend look like? What does all of this mean for my life? I had a rough time really listening to some of the things that were being told to me. I could definitely say that I was a new Christian and believed lies quickly and easily, but I also was stubborn and didn't want to give certain things up.
Summer soon came and I was face to face with something new, scary, and out of my comfort zone. I had gotten accepted to a summer project through Campus Crusade for Christ, the college ministry I had been involved in starting that semester. I was going to San Diego for 10 weeks with a total of 120 other college students, and I'd be sharing my faith with others in the area. God changed my heart on a lot of different things, and I grew in my faith, shifted my foundation to God instead of the worldly things I previously had been rooted in, and let go of many things (boyfriend included). The Lord opened my eyes to the true reason for life. My perspective on everything changed. God broke me down so He could be the one to build me back up. I learned so much while I was there; too much to go into here. But mainly I realized that this life isn't about me. It's not about you. It's about God, and how everything is meant to glorify Him. I understood how my relationships with my earthly father figures had painted an inaccurate picture of God in my mind. I saw how I needed to pursue my relationship with Christ and strengthen that before getting involved in a relationship, but when I do, how necessary it is for my partner to be a strong Godly man who loves Jesus first and foremost. I learned more about leaning on God and having faith that He'd provide. I learned the importance of forgiveness, and I was able to forgive myself for my suicide attempts in addition to forgiving my parents and bullies. I took a step of faith by stopping my anti-depressants (which I had been on for 7 years), in hopes to find out that I don't need to rely on pills to make me happy. I've been off of the medication for about six months now, and I've never been happier. My identity is secure in Christ, and my journey to know God's heart has been challenging, yet so insanely satisfying. I am a leader for Campus Crusade for Christ (from here on out referred to as "Cru") on my campus, and I love it. I love what the organization's mission is and the relationships with the students. I love sharing my faith with others. I love meeting up with my fellow sisters in Christ and discussing the things God is doing in our lives. I love seeing people grow in Christ. I love the Gospel. God desires a relationship with us lowly, broken humans, but we can't come into His holy presence because of our sin, so He sent His only Son to live the perfect life that we are expected to live, and then Jesus died on the cross in our place, so that we can come before God confidently and have eternal life in Christ. Praise God! How crazy is that?!
This blog is simply going to be my account of what God is teaching me. My goal is a post weekly, but there may be times in which I post more often. I want to share the different things that God is pressing on my heart. I want to keep a record of ways God is working in my life. I want to have a place in which I can write responses to things God has shown me. Even if no one ever reads this, I know that it will have some sort of purpose.
"And also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." ~ Ephesians 6:19 & 20
"Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, "I believed, and so I spoke," we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will also raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:13-15
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